Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Biology + Old Belief

My biological father was a fictional character because that is who he chose to be. Early on, he inserted this sharp tipped caricature of himself into his wife and three daughters. We each took it in and have given it safe harbor longer than has been healthy for any of us.

Yesterday I booted my copy out and in so doing set us all free; me, the spiny sharp unhappy cartoon and whatever was leftover of the original pure spirit my now deceased father was bron with and quelled through his own marred decisions.

Are there gifts in abuse? Did it make me more compassionate? More empathetic? Stronger? Did it have the opposite effect on my father? Does the balance sheet show 'zero'?

What my father and some other adults in our lives in the 1960's did by looking the other way was unhealthy. They created their own fog of regret that has lingered taking various shapes, creating miscellaneous pathways this far into the future.

However the transformation I experienced yesterday by literally and figuratively eliminating the quietly persistent toxic residuals from those days through deep tissue release, energy realignment and mental imagery has suddenly allowed me to assign those far away experiences a visual depiction -- allowing it to come out into the open, assume a shape that may now be transformed and reabsorbed by the universe no longer needing to hide within me, no longer needing to be held and protected but allowed to disburse and try again, accompanied by my hope that my father's deep wounds find healing in this release and hurt no more.

Who helped me accomplish this long overdue task? A wonderful intuitive healer. She uses a method that's sort of like message and sort of like reiki, or a combination of these methods - coupled with large doses of humor.

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